Rivalry 4

Most fights than not, kids quarrel or even go as far as fighting just to get a parent’s attention. In this case, consider taking a time-out of your own. When you are more patient and not preferential, the incentive for fighting is mostly reduced. Also, when you believe you are running out of patience, consider handing the reins over to your spouse, whose patience may be more enduring in the situation.

Helping Your Kids Get Along

Simple things you can do every day to prevent your kids from fighting include;

Setting ground rules for acceptable behavior. Tell the kids to keep their hands to themselves and that there’s no cursing, no name-calling, no yelling, no door slamming. Solicit their input on the rules – as well as the consequences when they break them. This teaches kids that they’re responsible for their own actions, regardless of the situation or how provoked they felt, and discourages any attempts to negotiate regarding who was right or wrong.

Don’t let kids make you think that everything always has to be fair and equal – sometimes one kid needs more than the other.

Being proactive in giving your kids one-on-one attention directed to their interests and needs. For example, if one likes to go outdoors, take a walk or go to the park. If another child likes to sit and read, make time for that too.

Making sure kids have their own space and time to do their own thing — to play with toys by themselves, to play with friends without a sibling tagging along, or to enjoy activities without having to share 50-50.

Having fun together as a family. Whether you’re watching a movie, throwing a ball, or playing a board game, you’re establishing a peaceful way for your kids to spend time together and relate to each other. This can help ease tensions between them and also keeps you involved. Since parental attention is something many kids fight over, fun family activities can help reduce conflict.

Finally, you should recognize when kids just need time apart from each other and the family dynamics. Try arranging separate play dates or activities for each kid occasionally. And when one child is out playing, you can spend some one-on-one time with the other.

In a small percentage of families, the conflict between brothers and sisters is so severe that it disrupts daily functioning, or particularly affects kids emotionally or psychologically. In these cases, it is wise to get help professional help… In other cases, it only requires you to be wise and discerning!