ConfusedYou have sat her down several times to talk to her about why you think her relationship with that dude is very unhealthy and how you believe she is hurting herself. All you get is some self-forced assurance that she is alright. But your guts tell you she is not and she just doesn’t want to admit it. Well, no need getting all worked up and nervous. Let’s help you ease up your confusion with these tips.

To start with, we should tell you that the truth is, unless people can see that a relationship they are in is ‘unhealthy’, it’s almost impossible to get them to leave the relationship. The problem is that some usually put on opaque veils when they don’t want to face the truth about something, even though they often know, deep down, that something is wrong. In fact, when people have these blind veils on, they tend to be very, very defensive and block out anything others tell them that they don’t want to hear.

You can try to help, but you can’t force your friend to do anything. Part of being a good friend is to be honest. Explain your feelings to your friend, and tell her why you feel the way you do. Tell her exactly what is upsetting to you, what you see in her relationship that is unhealthy. But, remember, you are not responsible for your friend’s life, and you are not responsible for making her decisions. You are only responsible for expressing yourself honestly and openly, and then the rest of the responsibility is hers.

You can suggest options to her, like giving her support in ending the relationship or seeking professional help from a counselor or psychologist if the relationship is really unhealthy for her. You can assure her that you know that ending the relationship will be real hard but that you will stick by her if she decides to get out of the relationship so she won’t feel so lonely. But bottom line is that the decision is hers.

Don’t stop talking to your her about your concerns, but realize that it may take her a long time to see true reality. And, when she finally does see the truth, or the relationship ends for some other reason, try not to say ‘I told you so!’ Instead, be supportive and help her see what her experience has taught her about relationships.