The magic question in just about every marriage is “How often should you be having sex?” The answer is far more complicated than merely counting figures. Although some experts suggest that two to three times per week is a normal for most couples, there’s no doubt that no clear cut answer can be given to this question. Every couple is different and have their own preferences and needs. What’s most important is that both parties in the marriage are satisfied with the frequency of sex. Still, it’s easy to get muffled up on the issue of ‘How Often.’
Couples who like having a lot of sex are usually pretty OK with that. Typically, they only worry about things like whether they are sexually addicted or their carnal compulsiveness is causing problems. Frankly, most couples who worry about frequency of sex tend to fear their frequency is significantly below the curve, so to speak. This is especially true for couples who qualify as not addicted.
Couples’ sex lives are affected by so many different factors: age, lifestyle, each partner’s health and sex drive, and most importantly the quality of their relationship.
But most importantly is when there is the issue of mismatched libido (sex urge). In the case of mismatched libidos, unfortunately the partner who wants sex more frequently will usually feel rejected and unwanted. Always having to make the first move when the other person does not want to can be pretty frustrating. However, the partner who wants sex less frequently can often feel pressured and inadequate. This can result in a vicious circle where they often start avoiding sex all together.
You two might get to a point where you will need to schedule sex and make out the time that leads up to the sex more intimate. Hug each other each day, exercise to increase your testosterone levels, and turn off the distractions, like the computer and TV. If you are still having problems with being able to engage in intimacy, seeing a sex therapist may really help you and your partner land on the same page.
Lovemaking is a sensitive area to discuss as there is a fear of hurting each other’s feelings, but then, sex is quite important in every marriage; it’s like glue that keeps couples together.